


Dear, Dear, Castiel..

by theheartchoice



Series: DeanCas | Canon Ficlets [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 10, Anonymity, Bunker Fluff, Castiel Misses Dean, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Dean Misses Castiel, Domestic, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, From Anonymous, Home, Letters, M/M, POV Outsider, Ramble on, Season/Series 10, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14312868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartchoice/pseuds/theheartchoice
Summary: Cas finds a note tucked under the wiper of his Continental. It speaks of things that might have been.. had he decided to stay in the bunker, with Dean.





	Dear, Dear, Castiel..

**Author's Note:**

> I was upset Cas didn't stay when Dean was cured of his demon-ness, since Dean clearly wanted him to: _I'm glad you're here, man._ So I wrote this little thing imagining someone in their world would be just as frustrated, and they decided to leave a little reminder for Cas that 1) he acted a fool, and b) there is hope.

* * *

 

 ** _Dammit, Castiel!_**  

 

You should have kicked that selfish clingy tryhard-angel to the curb and let her recruit one of the thousand other winged dicks on-hand. You should have laid your trenchcoat over the chair, slipped into one of Dean’s soft, threadbare tees and climbed into bed with your renewed human beau.

You could have snuggled up with popcorn and whiskey and his favourite old Westerns and let him educate you on why _serapes are cool_ and what it means to be a _Huckleberry_ and maybe even heard a few tales of his _adventures with the Colt_. You would have shared a blanket and a midnight mood. You would have smiled at his green eyes alight with all the new life of Spring. And you would have known with absolute certainty that _he_ is your 'Huckleberry'.

You would have shared your first kiss - you were brave and kissed _him_. He was glad and kissed you right back - fuller, longer. You would have fallen into peaceful sleep in each other’s arms (because _freshly-stolen-grace_ or not, you are not at full power and so you _do_ need sleep, sometimes. But even if you didn’t, you would not pass up an opportunity to lay with your human while he dreamt of pie and non-hunting roadtrips in the Impala, warm and safe and real, pressed up against your side).

And in the morning you would have made him coffee and smiled again at the return of adorable grumpy morning Dean. He would have played footsie with you under the table as his body slowly wakened. He would have shown you how to cook the best bacon (i.e. crispy and curly, the way he likes it best). You would have shared another kiss - he would have kissed _you_ , his arms looping comfortably around your middle, his chin on your shoulder, nose nuzzling your neck, watching over you as you mastered the art of breakfast-cookery.

You would have dwelled together in casual homey bliss for a few weeks. Roaming the stacks of the bunker’s archives, reading stories to one another, learning new spells, sorting artefacts and coming across useful weapons. You would have learned to shoot a gun in the firing range, with Dean's hand clasped over yours and the other on your waist, holding you steady. You would have marvelled that you managed to hit the target at all considering the bloodrush you were experiencing, wild torrents flooding your body and surging south, distracted by the points of physical contact with him.

He would have showed you how to wash the Impala with care and taught you the _ins-and-outs_ of mechanics. You would have worked on one of the vintage vehicles in the garage and he would have gleamed with pride when it roared into life.

You would have made a fort in the library out of boxes and blankets and played _Bloodsuckers &Cowboys_ with the brothers. You would have stayed up late with Sam while Dean was zonked out from pizza and _happy booze_ and winner’s delight from your game of beer bottle bowling. Sam would have fixed the telescope, with your help, and you would have gazed at the stars for hours wondering of all the worlds beyond Heaven and Earth. Then you would have slid into bed beside Dean in the small hours of the morning, and he would have held you close on instinct.

Your heart would have swelled with joy at having found your own _heaven on earth_ , your true home. And you would have learned what it is to be a happy little spoon.

 

..But none of that ever happened, Castiel, because you were a _fool_.

You were a fool to think Hannah _needed_ you. You were a fool to think Dean _didn’t_ _want_ you.

 

So, Castiel, my _angelic-human_ friend, how about next time you listen to that _big ol’ heart_ of yours and let it lead you home - where you belong, where you are loved, where you are valued and respected and wanted for _who_ you are instead of _what_ you are.

Instead of being lured away because you are 'needed' in the worst of ways - because you are _useful_ , _malleable._ Others will always try to pervert you into something - _someone_ \- you are not. But if you listened to your heart, you would know that Dean is different. 

Dean is special, and you are _his_ in the very best of ways.

 

 _Castiel_..

You could let your heart lead you into Dean’s arms and let his heart find yours and know you completely - in coffee flavoured kisses and warm embraces and fighting side-by-side on vampire cases.

And you could offer to heal his wounds, but he would tell you that a _little_ pain can be a good thing, to remind of one’s Humanity.

But he would make _absolutely clear_ that some pain is _too much to bear_. He would tell you of the day you _returned_ him, the day you _saved_ him, the day you _helped_ bring his Humanity back to him. He would tell you that he expected you to walk out that door, and that he felt his heart ache with longing even though you were standing right in front of him, like a ghost that lingered and mocked.

He thought you would leave again and his heart would break off another piece, having no need for it.

But then, the most remarkable thing happened: _you stayed_.

And then a second remarkable thing happened: _he let himself be happy_ \- _with you._

You, by his side and in his arms, in good times and in bad.

Dean Winchester would have been _happy_ , at long last.

And you were the reason, Castiel. And you were happy to be with him, happy to know you were right where you belonged, at long last. You had found your new mission, your cause: to live in love with your _Righteous Man_.

 

And that.. dear, _dear_ , Castiel.. would have been the _best thing_ to ever happen for you in all your long, _long_ life.

But, instead, you are left with the saddest truth held in the saddest words in any language in all of creation:

**_..It could have been._ **

 

— _Anon_.

 

* * *

  

**Author's Note:**

> ♡ also on tumblr @ [theheartchoice](http://theheartchoice.tumblr.com/post/172917682943/dear-dear-castiel) ♡


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